Let me count the ways

This is a guest post by AKUS

Today is February 24th 2010.

I count 55 articles dealing with Israel, Jews, and Judaism on the Guardian’s website, including those not open for comment and those of CiF since February 14th, 2010, when the Dubai affair hit the headlines.

About 5 articles a day. The rest of the world can occasionally get a look in, but the Guardian, microscope firmly fixed to its eyes, sees only Israel and Jews.

I have come to the amazing, possibly controversial, conclusion that this focus on matters dealing with Israel and Jews is due to the frustrated love affair some of the Guardian’s dimmest bulbs have with my people. So – in their honor – let us praise the hidden, if not brightest, philo-Semites at the Guardian:

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43) by Georgina Matthew Whittaker (with apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning).

How do we love thee, O Israel? Let us count the ways.

55 articles in only 10 days

Not a nit, not a twitch, not a negative comment, not a slight

About Israel that does not fill us with delight

And for which we will not find space.

We love thee as we meet every day’s

Most urgent need, by sun and candle-light

To fill another day’s blog with hate and spite

We love thee freely, with baseless claims and innuendo

We love thee purely, as we reach crescendo.

And if it should appear, that in Dubai.

Our articles turn out to be one massive lie

We’ll not retract, apologise, or reply

But seek another flaw to decry.

Of course, some naysayers will contradict me and claim that 55 articles merely represent their obsession with Israel and Jews – indeed, an obsession usually only found, I am sad to say, on anti-Semitic websites – but I firmly stand by my new theory.

This enormous number of articles about Israel, Jews and Judaism is an example of repressed passion – a Murdstonian desire to make Israel a better place for us all by constantly exposing every negative aspect of the country. Five time a day we can feel the l..u..r..v.. – like a muezzin’s call ringing out over the open spaces of Britain, calling the faithful to CiF.

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26 replies »

  1. It is interesting. It is historical. It is fascinating.East seems to meet west .. rich poor . It has defenders on both sides who can call on powerful emotional and actual resources to pursue their argument.

    This is a site for exposing anti Semitism. Im still waiting.

  2. how can you be so uncharitable?
    do you really want these people to exert themselves, get their brains tired thinking about something else than the next snack or f…, to get confused and all other kinds of unhealthy things by informing their readers about really intractable stuff like this?

    Imagine they did it?
    it would inconvenience their appetite their digestion and all other bodily functions.
    These people are gossips and gossips need an all-right party, somebody one can take DOWN with malicious asides and open slandering and all the other stuff that brighten a gossips day.

  3. “like a muezzin’s call ringing out over the open spaces of Britain, calling the faithful to CiF”

    Nice touch!

  4. There’s been IMO too much coverage of the Dubai thing (big deal, I say) on CiF, plus the usual preponderance of I/P stuff – but 5 articles a day? Are you sure about that?

  5. Well done Akus. It rings so many bells, truth, a revelation of a love denied that cannot say its name, obsession and racism.

    Elizabeth Barrett Browning would have been delighted to have been associated with Dickens in this best of all causes.

  6. pretzel – go count the ways – not all the articles were about Dubai there were a few about Israel, Jews, and Judaism not connected to Dubai.

  7. You don’t understand them AKUS. As it is well known we are living in a perfect world the only imperfections can be found in Israel and naturally in the behavior of its supporters – most of the world Jewry (with the exception of the fringe minority of the Theobalds naturally). No wars, genocides, supression of people, no violence, racism, hunger, poverty… only here.
    Why do you expect them not to concentrate on a dogshit in a Tel-Aviv sidewalk? Do you want to see them write about murderous police violence in London when they can whine about an alleged slap given by an Israeli cop to a Bedouin youngster? Your expectations are incomprehensible and illogical. I seriously hope you don’t suggest that they simply want to serve their fan readers with stuff that they could vent their frustration being incompetent/unsuccessful losers and giving them a platform to free and anonimous Jew-baiting even getting a generous profit on it?

  8. Pretzel – those obsessives have even gone a step further today, helping the Dubai police by creating a spreadsheet they and you can use and a pathetic “interactive guide”

    Articles 56 and 57 appearing today – and the day is young.

    Dubai murder suspects: flight movements into and out of Dubai

    The Dubai police have released flight information for 22 of the suspects in the Mabhouh murder last month. See the data as a spreadsheet
    • Get the data
    • Interactive guide to the flight patterns

    They are utterly mad and obsessed.

  9. peterthehungarian – I will think about your comment, but I am sure that they really, really, love Israel and their obsessive interest is due to their overwhelming desire to cure all its numerous faults, so absent in the rest of the world.

  10. Great stuff AKUS. Duvidl personally prefers Robert Browning to Elizabeth. How about something like: “Oh to be in Israel, now that April’s here.”

  11. This enormous number of articles about Israel, Jews and Judaism is an example of repressed passion – a Murdstonian desire to make Israel a better place for us all by constantly exposing every negative aspect of the country.

    Wonderful AKUS.

    I wonder if Georgina Matthew Whittaker is having ‘second thoughts’ about you and may offer you re-in-statement on CiF. (If you promise not to write for CiFWatch any more of course.)

  12. With so many articles you’d think the guardian would take the opportunity to show the “balance” that dear seaton claims to espouse.

    Setting aside the lack of articles regarding the attitudes and desires of hamas and fatah which they studiously stay clear of lest people have the opportunity to see what Israel is really facing, couldn’t seaton assure some “balance” with something positive about Israel if they are heel-bent on providing so many articles?

    I mean when the closest thing to a positive article is sethele’s backhanded Haiti article there’s something wrong with the picture.

    Oh I’m sure it has something to do with the vigorous debate and belief in open critique of democratic institutions to make them perform to higher and higher ideals…..though the “democratically elected gov’t of Gaza” isn’t deemed to need such scrutiny.

  13. A non-Jewish Northern guy I knew, who I was not on particularly close terms with, once reacted to a person we were talking to (who did not know I was Jewish as I am sometimes referred to as Mick) who wondered why ‘the world’ hates Jews.

    He pointed out that the world is jealous and resentful of their relative success and honesty and that their strength and values intimidates and scares people.

    I looked at him in amazement – we had never even discussed the subject between us – we mostly talked about football.

  14. Meir

    I looked at him in amazement – we had never even discussed the subject between us – we mostly talked about football.

    Don’t be fooled Meir. Some of your friends think.

    I was in a Fish and Chip shop in the UK which I use whenever I am there and the owner asked me where I was from. I said Israel and she gave me a long hard look and then told me, (with her finger wagging), never to negotiate with terrorists.

    I was bowled over.

    You and I need to give more credit to the average UK citizen.

  15. Dopey, first you have to recognise antisemitism in order to expose it or recognise that it is being exposed.

    I am still waiting for any sign of that from you.

  16. JerusalemMite, yes.

    Shortly after Cast Lead I was at a meeting with people I had not met before and talk turned to the shelling of Sderot.

    The consensus of opinion was three-fold – firstly, why had Israel waited so long to give Hamas the clobbering it so richly deserved, secondly, if Hamas didn’t want to get roundly clobbered why did it keep on launching rockets at Israeli civilians, and thirdly, why wasn’t the UN hauling Hamas over the coals because of the way it treated its own people let alone Israel’s?

    These people were under no illusions about the Islamist nature of Hamas and how life is cheap to it. They, too, were disgusted with this government’s attitude of appeasement to Islamists here.

  17. I was struck by the way that people in all the comment columns of the UK newspapers reacted to the Dubai incident recently, openly rejoicing in the fact that a terrorist had met his end in such a proactive fashion. They’re not Guardianistas that’s for sure.

  18. Margie,


    Now I hope Israelis will appreciate the difference between the average Brit and the media types at the Guardian, and how reading the Guardian often gives a false picture of attitudes towards Jews.

  19. It’s been quite a shock Modernity. For a change though on the journey I’ve been on here, reading and contributing to cifwatch as opposed to reading and contributing to cif, it has been a pleasant shock.

    I hope it is the first of many.

  20. We can surely thank CiF for a few things although I am under no illusions that they are the CiF intentions.

    Rediscovering our Zionism.

    ‘Discovering’ each other.

    ‘Activating’ us to oppose the GWV and the Euro extreme lefties who, while few in number, are very vocal.

    I have come to the conclusion that these extremists have subverted what was once a sensible paper, to broadcasting their perverted and nonsensical view of the world.

    At some point, with accumulating losses, the holding company will get rid of them all.