Eggsclusive! Harriet Sherwood to go ‘free range’.


CiF Watch reporters have learned that Harriet Sherwood is set to leave her current position as the Guardian’s Jerusalem correspondent in order to pursue a long-held dream.

In an exclusively overheard conversation in an un-named Jerusalem branch of the coffee shop chain ‘Aroma’, Sherwood is reported to have told an extra large cappuccino with a sprinkle of cinnamon:

“During my time in the Middle East I have come to appreciate that politics and international affairs just aren’t my thing. It was the piece I did on battery hens in Israel which really sealed it. When I saw the picture of Chinese chickens which illustrated my article, I realised that there are those in this world who are even more desperately in need of my voice.  I may even join the ‘Poultry Solidarity Campaign’ or ‘Chickens for Justice for Foxes. Or both. ”

Apparently, Sherwood is set to purchase a smallholding in the Cotswolds where she will devote her time to raising free range chickens, although she has not yet decided which kind.

“Rhode Island Reds are apparently good layers, but my progressive friends say that it is imperialist to raise American chickens in the UK.  Seumas suggested Langshans due to their impressive socialist roots in the People’s Republic of China; he couldn’t think of a Russian breed.”

However, Sherwood will not be abandoning journalism altogether; in addition to a weekly column which she has already agreed to write for the widely-read British publication ‘Sustainable Ethical Organic Poultry Magazine’, the Guardian has reportedly offered to rename her blog ‘View from the Chicken Run’ and she will continue to delight her readers with trite observations on the lives of poultry farmers.

“Of course I know nothing whatsoever about the subject, but seeing as I have gained a lot of experience in writing about things I don’t understand since I came to Jerusalem, it should be a breeze.”

6 comments on “Eggsclusive! Harriet Sherwood to go ‘free range’.

  1. You almost had me with the first sentence and I was cheering at the exit of Sherwood, when I realised this is a Purim spoof. Although it is so close to reality it is quite hard to tell the difference.
    :-)

    By the way, you have made a mistake in the name of the British publication for which Sherwood will ostensibly be writing. It is not “‘Sustainable Ethical Organic Poultry Magazine’” but “Chicken Really Are Palestinians”. You can shorten it to its initials if you wish. :-)

    Purim Sameach to everyone celebrating.

  2. Wonderful piece! Purim sameach!

    Does ChickenLady’s plan to spend more time with chickens come under the much used “spending more time with her family” when one gets the honorable order of the boot – er, claw??

  3. Eggstremely enterprising of the chicken lady. She has already established that she is no journalist so perhaps this new venture of hers will prove to be the answer. Of course that depends on what the question is.

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