Be kind to your Turkey


Be kind to your Turkey this Christmas,
Don’t kill it and throw it away,
For if you are kind to your Turkey,
It’ll not start a jihad this day;

Be kind to your Turkey this Christmas,
Don’t belittle its braincell or balls,
For those parts are dear to its leader,
Even though they don’t work at all

Be kind to your Turkey this Christmas,
Don’t lasso it and burble with glee,
For it seems that Turkey has rights
Though they’d take them from you and from me.

Be kind to your Turkey this Christmas,
Don’t stew it or cook in a pan.
We know that Turkey’s traditional,
None more so than Erdogan

Be kind to your Turkey this Christmas,
Though it goes for you with a sharp knife.
Though it would cut Jews into pieces,
It still wants a peaceful life!

Be kind to your Turkey this Christmas,
Don’t serve it up to the UN
They’ll find Turkey’s flavour delicious,
And what would Israelis do then?

Be kind to your Turkey this Christmas,
Don’t smack it or bash it about
But laugh at its lack of intelligence
Poke fun at it then throw it out.

With apologies to Benjamin Zephaniah

13 comments on “Be kind to your Turkey

  1. This is very funny and works at lots of levels.

    I like “don’t bellittle its braincell and balls”

    The instruction to any half-baked idiot who thinks he can ride (it looks for the first time) in public to show off should be – wear steel underpants.

  2. Well done! A little humour in these difficult times. Hey guys – put it up on CiF – if you dare!!!!

  3. Thanks for giving me a chuckle to start the day. It’s nice to see something light hearted for a change.

  4. Well, but what about the turkeys that WANT to be shaheeds to fulfill their dream of getting 72 turkey virgins??? Wouldn’t it be cruel to deny them their most dearly held aspirations?

  5. Medusa, you’ve tapped into my muse:

    “Be kind to your Turkey this Christmas
    Don’t pluck it or chop off its head;
    But fill all its body with out-of-date aid
    And send it to Gaza instead.”

  6. Be kind to your Turkey this Christmas.
    Don’t stuff it with onions and spice.
    Just shove a nice dynamite stick up its arse
    and send it to Erdy – how nice!

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