I think we should start classifying Cif articles by Soviet Propaganda Labels:
1)The “Kill the Kulak Thread”
Attacking a group of people (neocons, zionists, capitalists, the West etc). Posts disputing the wisdom of the mob call get deleted.
2) The Sing along thread
Posters must sing along the thrust of the argument of the thread. Mild solo-ing is permissible however once out of tune, you re deleted !! Songs praising Chavez, Palestinians, Arab rulers and Iranian populism are to be expected and the music will be loud and dissent prohibited.
3) The Cry with us crocodile tears thread
Thread where one is demanded to mourn together with the writer. Usually appears when a Hamas leader dies (preferably via means of an Israeli strike or a new blood libel is on promotion (blue kids, poisoned water, starvation, excessive noise from F-16s). Disputing the tears shed by the author or his/her motivation will be deleted.
Mockery of the author in times of mourning will be met with force by placing in pre-moderation or outright banning.
4)The Praise Allah Thread.
Threads which appear on the regular making sure we are reminded that Islam is only about peace and tolerance and terrorism is our fault. Islam is the root of all Western knowledge and advances in science and Islamic norms should be internalized into the West.
Any reference to texts disputing this “call to prayer” (including the Koran itself) will be deleted. Any criticism of Islam will be deleted. Any criticism or exposing of Tariq Ramadan as anything other than a polite, noble sage will be deleted.
Any reference showing the author being either paid for by or member of Islamic pressure groups will be deleted.
Attacks on Christianity and Judaism are encouraged and rewarded with many recommends. Posts not fully praising Allah the all Mighty but in receipt of more than 7 recommends will be deleted.
5) The I am the Ideal Jew for the Party Thread.
Great example of one of these was the Weingarten thread and I must say probably the best so far in demonstrating the ideological purifying of the debate practiced by the so called “moderators”.
The ideal Jew will appear on the Guardian usually after some controversy (real or manufactured) occurs in the ME/IP conflict.
The Ideal Jew thread will get periodic posting access, usually to prevent North American Jews from posting (unless they re unemployed loners up at 3AM). This way the Guardian makes sure the debate is fair and balanced given that Jews own North America and its people have been brainwashed by Zionist ideology making their opinions less valuable than the intellectually superior posters from Europe who are free of Zionist mind control.
The ideal Jew thread commands that other Jews will not dispute the wisdom the Ideal Jew has put forth. No challenge shall be mounted, not from Talmudic references (even if the ideal Jew used such references in a callous and self serving way), not historic truths and most of all NO DISPUTING of the IDEAL JEW’S assessment of Antisemitism. Such posts will be automatically deleted and violators are to be warned of being segregated into the ghetto of pre-moderation.
The Ideal Jew thread is the one which will change Judaism to the benefit of the GWV. Thus it is imperative that the Ideal Jew Threads remain clean of dissent, mockery, humour (except jokes about Bush, Palin and Lieberman). Readers must learn that Jews are ashamed of having their own country and ashamed for being hated by the intellectually advanced and ultra sophisticated European Left. The ideal Jew thread thus serves both Jews and gentiles for a peaceful co-existence devoid of distracting debates and ideas which disturb the great work of the Guardian Counsel.
Any questions?






12 comments
Comments feed for this article
March 17, 2010 at 2:00 am
peterthehungarian
The Alchemist
The Guardian/Pravda hails the re-eshtablisment of the now defunct Soviet newspaper published in Yiddish (you know the language obliterated by the Zionists) “Sovietich Heymland” Their new name is Jnews.
March 17, 2010 at 3:20 am
Duvid Crockett
“A Cry with us Crocodile Tears” thread is where ” a new blood libel is on promotion (blue kids,)…” says the Alchemist and asks, “Any questions?” Does the Alchemist think the following song by Duvidl could possibly make it onto a “Sing Along” thread?:
Something In The Way She Scrawls
(to the tune of: “Something In The Way She Moves.”)
(Hat tip: G. Harrison/The Beatles)
Something in the way she scrawls,
Repels me like no other scribbler.
Something in it makes my skin crawl.
I don’t want to read her now;
You know Vicky chafes, and how.
I know that blue babe’s a dribb-ler.
Chorus: You want to know how blue babes grow?
I don’t know; I don’t know.
Vicky’s crap ’bout them’s a new low.
I don’t know; she must go.
Something in her slimy style
Disgusts me like no old blood libel.
Something in her crap brings on piles.
Another Victoria screed;
One of a blood-libelling breed.
Blue babies she’ll not feed.
Chorus: You want to know how blue babes grow?
I don’t know; I don’t know.
Vicky’s crap ’bout them’s a new low.
I don’t know; she must go.
DS Al Coda
March 17, 2010 at 4:21 am
JerusalemMite
Yes.
That does seem to fit The Guardian/CiF to t ‘T’.
Well done The Alchemist.
As to the The Praise Allah Threads, no criticism of The Bungler is permitted. In fact, any references to his past ‘misdemeanors’ are moderated out of existence.
March 17, 2010 at 4:39 am
Mitnaged
The Alchemist, this is excellent. Al-Grauniad and al-CiF under the great Babler (Whitaker), being controlling and authoritarian in the extreme, cannot “do” irony or humour or cope with the ambiguity which is inherent in it, or the many complexities in the different levels at which it works. Posts which evidence it get deleted, which is why Dopey’s bleating about “sarcastic” or “phoney” antisemitism on by Jews or pro-Israelis to CiF is such a joke. He wouldn’t recognise it if it shook his hand and said, “Hello!”
All the more reason then to crank up the irony and humour at their expense.
More of the same, please!
March 17, 2010 at 5:00 am
smtx01
check out todays ‘Happy Fourth Birthday CIF’
‘Comment is free may still be in its infancy,but its growing up fast, and to celebrate,today is the day you edit the site’ Matt Seaton
Do feel free to comment ahem
March 17, 2010 at 6:31 am
JerusalemMite
smtx01
but its growing up fast, and to celebrate,today is the day you edit the site’ Matt Seaton
Hmmmm!
Strange that Al-Grauniad is loosing money hand over fist.
March 17, 2010 at 10:50 am
Abandon hope
The Ideal Jew? A reasonably entertaining article …but like all the ones here just now ..avoiding any mention of the present crisis.
The Freedland thread on CIF is a cracker at the moment. There are one or two of your comrades putting their head above the parapet …most are getting gubbed instantly of course.. but their bravery is apparent.
March 17, 2010 at 11:04 am
pretzelberg
The Ideal Jew thread will get periodic posting access, usually to prevent North American Jews from posting (unless they re unemployed loners up at 3AM). This way the Guardian makes sure the debate is fair and balanced given that Jews own North America and its people have been brainwashed by Zionist ideology making their opinions less valuable than the intellectually superior posters from Europe who are free of Zionist mind control.
This is such ridiculous nonsense that it reminds me of pathetic CiFers who post OTT “satirical” comments aimed at downplaying anti-Semitism – especially as there’s a glaring mistake in it.
Oh, and then there’s this:
(neocons, zionists, capitalists, the West etc). Posts disputing the wisdom of the mob call get deleted.
I regularly challenge such posters, and my comments are not deleted.
March 17, 2010 at 1:09 pm
Snigger
“I regularly challenge such posters, and my comments are not deleted.”
Now, I wonder why not, pretzelberg?
March 17, 2010 at 1:31 pm
sababa
Alchemist, brilliant!!!
March 17, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Yohoho
Right, Snigger. He can’t be doing it strongly enough.
March 17, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Wednesday's child
Pretzelberg now we know exactly the kind of person chosen to be moderators – those who are just like you!