“The Grauniad is a nickname for the UK national newpaper, the Guardian, because of a now ill-founded reputation for typos. The name was given to it by the satirical magazine Private Eye. The Guardian newspaper earned its reputation for lots of misprints in the days of hot-metal printing when it was published in Manchester (it was originally called the Manchester Guardian), and the editions that appeared in London were very early editions brought down by train, before all the errors had been spotted”.
PS: 1,000 free unsold copies of the Grauniad to the first person to note the typo in the Urban Dictionary’s description.
Pin, Ball and Knob Witch (to the tune of “Pinball Wizard” Hat tip: The Who)
Ever since she was a young girl, Belle played with knobs and balls,
From Clerkenwell to Soho, in seedy amusement stalls,
She used a knob vibrator to bang balls against the walls.
Balls rubbed; now a worn brass,
She sure strokes some thin-pins and balls.
Chorus: She’s a pin, ball and knob witch.
There has to be a hitch.
Belle’s a pin, ball and knob witch,
But now has a curious i-i-itch.
Bridge: How do you think she does it?
With K-Y.
What makes her so slick?
She plays by knob vibration, becomes part of the machine.
And when she’s finished stroking it, she always wipes it clean.
She bangs 24 hours, ignoring Daddy’s spleen.
Balls rubbed; now a worn brass,
She sure strokes some thin pins and balls.
Chorus: She’s a pin, ball and knob witch.
There has to be a hitch.
Belle’s a pin, ball and knob witch,
But now has a curious i-i-itch.
[Take 2, with new added second verse]
Pin, Ball and Knob Witch (to the tune of “Pinball Wizard” Hat tip: The Who)
Ever since she was a young girl, Belle played with knobs and balls,
From Clerkenwell to Soho, in seedy amusement stalls,
She used a knob vibrator to bang balls against the walls.
Balls rubbed; now a worn brass,
She sure strokes some thin-pins and balls.
Chorus: She’s a pin, ball and knob witch.
There has to be a hitch.
Belle’s a pin, ball and knob witch,
But now has a curious i-i-itch.
Now Belle’s an ex-spurt knob witch; she uses buzzers and bells.
In fact she uses anything that sells to cast knob spells.
She makes a bit on the side too, by selling “kiss-and-tells”.
Balls rubbed; now a worn brass,
She sure strokes some thin-pins and balls.
Bridge: How do you think she does it?
With K-Y.
What makes her so slick?
She plays by knob vibration, becomes part of the machine.
And when she’s finished stroking it, she always wipes it clean.
She bangs 24 hours, ignoring Daddy’s spleen.
Balls rubbed; now a worn brass,
She sure strokes some thin pins and balls.
Chorus: She’s a pin, ball and knob witch.
There has to be a hitch.
Belle’s a pin, ball and knob witch,
But now has a curious i-i-itch.
All the best parrots have their cages lined by the Guardian, its absorptive qualities are quite magnificent. I will try to get a parrot by then Akus, so that I will have some use for your generous offer.
14 comments
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February 8, 2010 at 11:34 pm
AKUS
Ah – the sharp-eyed (former moderator? and) daughter of the paper’s chief noticed a typo at another paper (“Digrace” instead of “Disgrace”)
But she needs to go back to indoctrination school at Daddy’s paper:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=grauniad
“The Grauniad is a nickname for the UK national newpaper, the Guardian, because of a now ill-founded reputation for typos. The name was given to it by the satirical magazine Private Eye. The Guardian newspaper earned its reputation for lots of misprints in the days of hot-metal printing when it was published in Manchester (it was originally called the Manchester Guardian), and the editions that appeared in London were very early editions brought down by train, before all the errors had been spotted”.
PS: 1,000 free unsold copies of the Grauniad to the first person to note the typo in the Urban Dictionary’s description.
February 9, 2010 at 12:03 am
JerusalemMite
Thanks AKUS.
Something new to ‘learn’ every day.
February 9, 2010 at 1:01 am
commentscount
A sharped-eyed Akus,pulling up a cock-eyed BellaM.
Akus,I would often pass this Panel Beating shop,one day I passed it and the P was missing.They never replaced it.
February 9, 2010 at 1:12 am
commentscount
By Jove,AKUS I got it…..NEWpaper…..
February 9, 2010 at 1:16 am
commentscount
Akus those 1,000 Guardian free unsold copies of the Grauniad will come in handy,I will use them to put at the bottom of my German Shepherd’s kennel.
February 9, 2010 at 5:32 am
Duvid Crockett
Pin, Ball and Knob Witch (to the tune of “Pinball Wizard” Hat tip: The Who)
Ever since she was a young girl, Belle played with knobs and balls,
From Clerkenwell to Soho, in seedy amusement stalls,
She used a knob vibrator to bang balls against the walls.
Balls rubbed; now a worn brass,
She sure strokes some thin-pins and balls.
Chorus: She’s a pin, ball and knob witch.
There has to be a hitch.
Belle’s a pin, ball and knob witch,
But now has a curious i-i-itch.
Bridge: How do you think she does it?
With K-Y.
What makes her so slick?
She plays by knob vibration, becomes part of the machine.
And when she’s finished stroking it, she always wipes it clean.
She bangs 24 hours, ignoring Daddy’s spleen.
Balls rubbed; now a worn brass,
She sure strokes some thin pins and balls.
Chorus: She’s a pin, ball and knob witch.
There has to be a hitch.
Belle’s a pin, ball and knob witch,
But now has a curious i-i-itch.
DS Al Coda
February 9, 2010 at 5:57 am
Duvid Crockett
[Take 2, with new added second verse]
Pin, Ball and Knob Witch (to the tune of “Pinball Wizard” Hat tip: The Who)
Ever since she was a young girl, Belle played with knobs and balls,
From Clerkenwell to Soho, in seedy amusement stalls,
She used a knob vibrator to bang balls against the walls.
Balls rubbed; now a worn brass,
She sure strokes some thin-pins and balls.
Chorus: She’s a pin, ball and knob witch.
There has to be a hitch.
Belle’s a pin, ball and knob witch,
But now has a curious i-i-itch.
Now Belle’s an ex-spurt knob witch; she uses buzzers and bells.
In fact she uses anything that sells to cast knob spells.
She makes a bit on the side too, by selling “kiss-and-tells”.
Balls rubbed; now a worn brass,
She sure strokes some thin-pins and balls.
Bridge: How do you think she does it?
With K-Y.
What makes her so slick?
She plays by knob vibration, becomes part of the machine.
And when she’s finished stroking it, she always wipes it clean.
She bangs 24 hours, ignoring Daddy’s spleen.
Balls rubbed; now a worn brass,
She sure strokes some thin pins and balls.
Chorus: She’s a pin, ball and knob witch.
There has to be a hitch.
Belle’s a pin, ball and knob witch,
But now has a curious i-i-itch.
DS Al Coda
February 9, 2010 at 8:57 am
AKUS
For all those who did NOT get their free 1,000 unsold copies of the Guardian – I may try to run another competition tomorrow …
February 9, 2010 at 11:15 am
Margie
All the best parrots have their cages lined by the Guardian, its absorptive qualities are quite magnificent. I will try to get a parrot by then Akus, so that I will have some use for your generous offer.
February 9, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Serendipity
It’s very absorbent of mud, too
Just as mud sticks to al-Grauniad in real life…..
February 9, 2010 at 11:58 pm
Abandon hope
Duvid Crockett
” She’s a pin, ball and knob witch.
There has to be a hitch. ”
CIF witch ?
February 10, 2010 at 12:14 am
JerusalemMite
commentscount
Akus those 1,000 Guardian free unsold copies of the Grauniad will come in handy,I will use them to put at the bottom of my German Shepherd’s kennel.
That’s immensely cruel.
I will consider reporting you to the R.S.P.C.A.
February 10, 2010 at 12:55 am
commentscount
JM,
It was the RSPCA who suggested it.My GS is very picky,he turned his nose up at first, he thought that he deserved better than that a third paper.
February 10, 2010 at 1:13 am
commentscount
On second thought,I might just give that idea of lining the GS’s kennel with the Guardian newspaper a miss.
It just occurred to me that by my German Shepherd’s sleeping with the Guardian, he might wake up with fleas.